Sunday, 16 February 2014

Impressing Boys: What Not to do

Did anyone else think Valentines day was on a saturday? No? Ok. So I realise now that this post is two days late but hey nothing like some early training for next year. I have sorted through all my embarrassing boy incidents to date down to three occasions, all during secondary school (I don't know what school that is in America). I'm pretty sure if you avoid these situations you will have multiple boyfriends by the end of the day.

Embarrassing situation No.1:

I was just casually walking to art, feeling the wind in my hair and all that jazz, when I spotted my crush walking a few meters behind with his friends. I think I momentarily became possessed because I had a little voice in my head shouting "do something! Go on impress him!". Uh oh. What the little voice didn't realise is that I am not the height of cool when it comes to impressing people. At my school there is a large rectangular square called the "quad" with all the buildings around it. There also happens to be a low brick wall running through the middle of it. Thinking of James Bond, I took a run up, planted a hand on the wall and attempted to do an impressive vault over the wall. I didn't quite work as I ended up putting my hand in bird poo, giving my crush a nice flash and landed on an unexpected bench. Red faced I then had to do the walk of shame all the way to art with him and his friends behind me. I'm still kicking myself to this day.

I just realised all these stories involve skirts.
Embarrassing situation No.2:

It was a beautiful summers day, me and some friends had decided to go down to one of the parks in town. There was loads of other people there including lots of older groups from our school. It was all going well until my friend started a grass fight with me (It happens) and ran away. No way was I going to let her win so off I sprinted. I was just catching up with her when I promptly put my foot in hole and landed in THE LAP of a fit boy with my skirt over my head. Ooch. I was in shock so it took me awhile to assemble myself before politely saying bye and legging it.

Embarrassing situation No.3:

Now this is a big'un.
So my school was designed with too narrow corridors, resulting in what we call 'crushes' which basically means loads of people crammed in a space trying to go in a different direction. It can be quite scary sometimes and people do get hurt, so you do not want to get in a situation during one. Ha.
So I had found myself in the middle of a crush and was painfully pushing my way through the crowds when I started getting dragged the other way. I immediately turned around shouting "HEY" but to my horror saw that my skirt had become attached to the zip on this boys bag. I desperately tried to free myself but my skirt just got more stuck and there was no room to sort it out. It was too loud to get the boys attention and his bag had started to pull my skirt down, I was majorly panicking when he suddenly dived through the crowd causing my skirt to fall down to just above my knees. I clawed at his arm and shouted "I'M ATTACHED TO YOU" as loudly as I could before realising his movement had got us safely outside and I was standing in the middle of the quad with my skirt around my knees clutching and shouting at this poor boy. There was lots of giggling as other students stared at me trying to unhook my skirt and I have never looked the boy in the eyes since.

So there you are, feel privileged that I have shared my most embarrassing moments with you. Smaller incidents include unexpected violence and frog impressions but that's for another day.

I would also like to give a mention to Kathryne from confessionsofanessexgirl who we did a valentines box swap with and she gave us some lovely things! 

Ella x


  1. This is brilliant! Thanks so much for the mention, I'm going to be doing a post in a few days about your box (thank you so much, by the way, it was lovely!), and I'm glad you liked the box! xxx